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In honor of my impending airplane travel, I thought I would share one of my all time biggest pet peeves – children in airports/airplanes. Children traveling in all ages groups annoy – babies crying, toddlers running, teenagers being generally greasy. For certain destinations I will make an exception – flights to Orlando – got it, completely understand Disney is their playing field – but Bahamas/ St. Martin/ Miami– what use can your kid possibly have for those destinations ?!?!
My most recent visit to Tampa provided me with the worst example of this. I arrived at Newark airport to wait in the now famous Newark security line and was greeted by a child I will call Dennis – because he reminded me of that well-known menace. Dennis could have been somewhere between the ages of 0-7 for all I know about childhood development – but was probably more like 4/5.
Anyway Dennis’ parents apparently felt it was perfectly acceptable for him to be in charge of his own luggage (it was Dora – I know this because it ran over my shoes several times). Please help me if you have thoughts, but what could a 5ish year-old child possibly need with luggage? Is he carrying his passport? Important medication? Reading material? Dennis’ parents also thought it was appropriate (in fact by the way they kept smiling at me they thought it was adorable) to let him attempt to navigate through security and try to lift Dora on to the x-ray belt unassisted. Parents for those of us adults traveling sans children this is not cute – in fact it’s far from it and it most importantly infringes upon our ability to have extra time for Starbucks prior to boarding. But then again maybe Dennis’ parents were unable to help lift his Dora luggage, since they were carrying a mini-cooper-sized car seat/stroller thing (once again I have no clue what purpose this actually serves on an airplane).
Once Dennis and I finally made it through security, we arrived at the moving walkways which he thought it will be fun to run the opposite way on – while I fought the urge to trip him/punt Dora into the nearest Chili’s To Go.
Eventually Dennis and I parted ways, and I began boarding my flight to Tampa. Shockingly, as a go to put my one bag into the overhead bin I discovered there was no room for my luggage yet plenty of room for the car seat/stroller things mentioned above. REALLY?!?! These things are such precious cargo that they cannot be considered checked baggage?
Finally seated, I scanned the area for babies – inevitably there was one two rows up from me who screamed the entire accent/decent. I think it was God’s way of playing a joke on me, bc in the past 25 flights I have taken I’ve had maybe one peaceful one.
DISCLAIMER – I swear I really don’t hate all children. In the appropriate setting and with the appropriate parenting I actually can find them kind of sweet/cute/(insert another adjective here) - but a closed tube 35,000 feet in the air is not one such setting.