Thursday, January 28, 2010

HATE: Children in Airports

In honor of my impending airplane travel, I thought I would share one of my all time biggest pet peeves – children in airports/airplanes. Children traveling in all ages groups annoy – babies crying, toddlers running, teenagers being generally greasy. For certain destinations I will make an exception – flights to Orlando – got it, completely understand Disney is their playing field – but Bahamas/ St. Martin/ Miami– what use can your kid possibly have for those destinations ?!?!

My most recent visit to Tampa provided me with the worst example of this. I arrived at Newark airport to wait in the now famous Newark security line and was greeted by a child I will call Dennis – because he reminded me of that well-known menace. Dennis could have been somewhere between the ages of 0-7 for all I know about childhood development – but was probably more like 4/5.

Anyway Dennis’ parents apparently felt it was perfectly acceptable for him to be in charge of his own luggage (it was Dora – I know this because it ran over my shoes several times). Please help me if you have thoughts, but what could a 5ish year-old child possibly need with luggage? Is he carrying his passport? Important medication? Reading material? Dennis’ parents also thought it was appropriate (in fact by the way they kept smiling at me they thought it was adorable) to let him attempt to navigate through security and try to lift Dora on to the x-ray belt unassisted. Parents for those of us adults traveling sans children this is not cute – in fact it’s far from it and it most importantly infringes upon our ability to have extra time for Starbucks prior to boarding. But then again maybe Dennis’ parents were unable to help lift his Dora luggage, since they were carrying a mini-cooper-sized car seat/stroller thing (once again I have no clue what purpose this actually serves on an airplane).

Once Dennis and I finally made it through security, we arrived at the moving walkways which he thought it will be fun to run the opposite way on – while I fought the urge to trip him/punt Dora into the nearest Chili’s To Go.

Eventually Dennis and I parted ways, and I began boarding my flight to Tampa. Shockingly, as a go to put my one bag into the overhead bin I discovered there was no room for my luggage yet plenty of room for the car seat/stroller things mentioned above. REALLY?!?! These things are such precious cargo that they cannot be considered checked baggage?

Finally seated, I scanned the area for babies – inevitably there was one two rows up from me who screamed the entire accent/decent. I think it was God’s way of playing a joke on me, bc in the past 25 flights I have taken I’ve had maybe one peaceful one.

DISCLAIMER – I swear I really don’t hate all children. In the appropriate setting and with the appropriate parenting I actually can find them kind of sweet/cute/(insert another adjective here) - but a closed tube 35,000 feet in the air is not one such setting.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I'm Back! - LOVE: Teen Mom

So clearly since the last time I posted was about Valentine's Day, a full year has passed! While 2009 has certainly provided me with a vast amount of things to love and hate, I have cheated the online world by not sharing my thoughts...Don't worry my blog friends - in one week I'm headed to Miami for work/Super Bowl and I can guarantee an entire week of work travel will surely provide me with ample opportunities to write to you!

I'll leave you with something that I feel might become my new obsession - MTV's Teen Mom.

I stumbled upon Teen Mom one lazy Sunday during one of MTV's we refuse to play music or create new programming marathons and instantly became hooked. The show consists of 4 18-year-old or younger mothers and details their struggles to not be complete wastes of life (fyi - 3 out of the 4 are not winning that battle). Stereotypically, teenagers who get pregnant are seen as the slutty, dirty, needy and low class - 75% these girls fit the mold completely.

First we have Maci - I truly want to like Maci, she really is a good mother and seems to love her baby. Maci's downfall comes in the fact that she clearly got dupped by her bf (who falls much higher on the looks scale than she does) into having "relations" bc he said he loved her when he just wanted to have sex. I don't remember his name so we will call him dirtbiking freeloader (DF) - so DF wants nothing to do with Maci and their son Bentley (yup they named him after a car they will never even see in person).

Then we have Farrah, (she should hook up with DF, bc she wants as little to do with her daughter as he does with his son) who spends a majority of her time trying to date guys who want nothing to do with her. I can't imagine how she got pregnant, since most guys don't want to spend more than one date with her. She lives at home with her parents and goes to cooking school, although I can't believe a legit cooking school gives homework that involves Bobboli pizza crust. The thing about Farrah is that her baby daddy must have found her as annoying as I do bc he is no longer in the picture. High point - Farrah's mom may have just gotten arrested for choking her - allegedly, I was told - hope that makes the show!

The one ray of morality comes by way of Catelynn and Tyler - probably the most disadvantaged of the couples who have decided to give their baby up for adoption despite their trailer-living, mullet-wearing, substance abusing parent's objections. They are truly sweet in love kids - I wish I could afford to send them money to pay for college and get the better lives they deserve.

And finally we have Amber - I saved the worst for last. This girl is truly horrifying - in fact I think I can smell her through my TV. She got preggers by her"special" boyfriend (combined I think they may have the IQ of my cat) and was forced to drop out of school. Amber is really what is wrong with the American Welfare system - despite the fact that she doesn't work and could live at home with her parents, she instead chooses to put her baby in daycare and have her own apt to feel like a big girl (fyi we are paying for that) so that she can focus on working 10 hrs a week and getting her acrylic nails done. Stereotype? I think so!

So why do you ask is this a love? - To be completely honest I have no idea! It's not outwardly entertaining like Jersey Shore or pathetic like Tough Love. Tune in next Tuesday at 10 p.m. and maybe you can figure it out.